Letter 4


Letter 4: Jealousy and Guilt Have No Place Between Us

Dear Partner,

Today I want to put words around something that sometimes sneaks into even the strongest relationships: jealousy and guilt.

It can start quietly—feeling left out, feeling unseen, feeling like we have to compete for attention. Sometimes guilt follows close behind, making us second-guess our worth or wonder if we are doing enough, being enough. But these feelings, if we don’t notice and handle them, can poison the beautiful foundation we are working so hard to build.

We are not each other’s competition.
We are not here to tally who did more or loved better.

You are my partner, not my rival.
I am your teammate, not your judge.

When you shine, it doesn’t dim my light.
When I struggle, it doesn’t make me less worthy of love.

If guilt ever whispers that we are failing, let’s remind each other of the truth:
Parenting is heavy. Marriage is complex. Loving someone every day, through all the change and challenge, is not easy. It’s normal to stumble. It’s normal to feel unsure. What matters is that we come back together, hand in hand, and refuse to let comparison or blame set the tone of our home.

When our kids see us choosing teamwork over jealousy, reassurance over guilt, they learn that relationships are not scoreboards. They learn that love is a place where two people grow individually and together—not at the cost of each other, but for the strength of the family as a whole.

So whenever those feelings rise up, let’s be honest about them.
Let’s talk it through instead of letting it fester.
Let’s choose grace over grudges.

Because the love we’re building isn’t a battlefield. It’s a sanctuary.

Side by side, stronger every day,
Your partner 

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