Letter 35

Letter 35: Protecting Our Parenting Role from Family Loneliness


Dear Partner,


There’s something important we need to recognize as we build this life and raise our children:  

**Our role as parents must always come first—even when family members, like siblings-in-law, feel lonely or left out.**


Sometimes, unmarried or married siblings-in-law, facing their own emptiness, try to step into places that don’t belong to them. They offer opinions, make demands, or seek constant involvement—not because they intend harm, but because they are filling spaces in their own hearts. And while compassion is needed, so is clarity.


Our children are not here to fix anyone’s loneliness. They are not responsible for providing emotional companionship to adults who haven't built their own fulfilling lives.  

It’s unfair—to them, to us, and to the emotional structure we’re trying so carefully to create.


When siblings or extended family members push to have influence over our kids, sidestepping us as parents, it slowly erodes the respect and boundaries our family needs. It confuses our children about authority. It teaches them that love sometimes requires sacrificing their own comfort to make others happy.


That is not the lesson we want them to learn.


We can—and should—offer kindness to family. We can include them in appropriate ways.  

But **the leadership over our children’s lives must stay with us**—not be shared, handed out, or negotiated because someone else feels lonely or entitled.


It’s not cruel to hold this line.  

It’s loving.


It shows our kids that parenting is a sacred responsibility, not a popularity contest. It shows them that adults need to manage their own emotional needs without leaning on children. It shows them what healthy relationships look like—mutual respect, not emotional dependency.


We can honor our families without surrendering our children’s well-being to them.


And we can teach our children that compassion does not mean allowing others to cross important boundaries.


Together, we are enough for our kids.  

We are the ones responsible for guiding their hearts—not anyone else.


And protecting that is an act of love they will thank us for one day.


Always standing with you,  

Your Partner

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