Letter 26


Letter 26: Fostering a Growth Mindset and Teaching Resilience

Dear Partner,

As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the ability to view challenges as opportunities for growth. A growth mindset—the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, perseverance, and learning—empowers them to embrace challenges, learn from mistakes, and persist even when things get tough. It’s not about avoiding failure; it’s about understanding that failure is a natural part of learning and success.

I’ve been thinking about how we can help our children develop this mindset, especially in a world where instant success and perfection are often celebrated. We both know that life isn’t perfect, and that it’s filled with obstacles and setbacks. But it’s how we face those obstacles that shapes our future success. Children with a growth mindset are more likely to take risks, keep trying when they face difficulties, and ultimately become more resilient.

We can start by encouraging a love of learning—not just for the sake of doing well, but for the joy of exploring, experimenting, and improving. Rather than focusing on outcomes like grades or awards, we can praise their effort, their determination, and their willingness to try. “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project,” or “I saw how much you improved with practice,” reinforces the idea that effort and persistence are what truly lead to growth.

It’s important that we show them that success doesn’t come without failure. In fact, failure is a necessary step on the path to mastery. We’ve both experienced this in our own lives, whether in our careers, personal goals, or relationships. But instead of focusing on the frustration or disappointment that comes with failure, we can model how to look at it constructively. For example, when something doesn’t go as planned, we can say, “That didn’t work out the way I thought it would, but I learned something from it. Let’s figure out what went wrong and how we can improve next time.” This helps them understand that mistakes are not a reflection of their abilities or worth, but an opportunity to learn and grow.

Another way we can encourage a growth mindset is by teaching them to embrace challenges rather than shy away from them. When they face something difficult, whether it’s a hard subject in school, a complicated puzzle, or even a social situation, we can encourage them to approach it with curiosity and determination. “This might be tough, but I know you’re capable of figuring it out,” or “It’s okay to not know how to do this yet. Keep going, and you’ll get better with time.”

We also need to help them understand that growth takes time. We live in a fast-paced world, where instant gratification is often the norm, but true growth and mastery take time and effort. Whether it’s learning a new skill, improving in a sport, or getting better at a school subject, we can teach them the value of persistence and patience. “It takes time to get better at anything. Don’t rush—just keep going, step by step.”

Moreover, it’s important that we teach them how to handle setbacks and disappointments with resilience. Life won’t always go according to plan, and sometimes things will feel unfair or discouraging. But resilience is about learning how to bounce back, stay positive, and keep moving forward even when things are hard. When they encounter a setback, we can encourage them by saying, “It’s okay to feel upset right now. But don’t let this stop you. You’re strong, and I know you’ll find a way through.”

By fostering a growth mindset and teaching resilience, we are helping our children develop the tools they need to face life’s challenges with confidence and grace. They’ll learn to see obstacles not as threats, but as opportunities to learn, grow, and improve. They’ll understand that their potential is not fixed, but ever-evolving, and that with time and effort, they can achieve anything they set their minds to.

Let’s continue to support them in developing this mindset, not by protecting them from difficulty, but by guiding them through it. Together, we can raise resilient, confident children who understand that the road to success is never straight, but always worth the journey.

With faith in their growth,
Your partner 

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