Letter 22


Letter 22: The Importance of Nurturing Independence

Dear Partner,

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the ability to stand on their own two feet. Nurturing their independence from a young age isn’t just about teaching them to do things for themselves; it’s about fostering a sense of confidence and self-reliance that will serve them throughout their lives.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we can help them grow into capable, self-sufficient individuals. It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing everything for them—helping them with their homework, tying their shoes, picking up after them. We do it out of love, but sometimes, in the process, we might unintentionally send the message that they aren’t capable of doing things on their own.

Encouraging independence starts with trusting them. It starts with recognizing that, even at a young age, they have the ability to make decisions and solve problems. When we give them the space to do so, even if it means they make mistakes along the way, we are teaching them valuable lessons in resilience and self-confidence. Every time they struggle through a challenge and succeed, even if it’s a small victory, they learn that they are capable—and that confidence will carry them through bigger challenges in the future.

But it’s not just about letting them do things on their own—it’s also about supporting them as they learn to take responsibility for their choices. We want them to understand that with independence comes accountability. We want them to know that their actions have consequences, and that it’s important to think ahead and consider the impact of their decisions. These lessons are crucial as they grow and become more independent in the world around them.

At the same time, we must also be careful not to push them too hard, too fast. Independence doesn’t mean complete autonomy at a young age. It means offering them opportunities to learn and grow at their own pace, within safe boundaries. We can encourage them to make decisions for themselves, but we must also be there to guide them through the process, providing support when needed, and offering reassurance when they’re unsure.

I think it’s important that we also model independence in our own lives. They learn from what we do, not just what we say. When we take initiative in our own tasks, show responsibility in our actions, and confidently face challenges, we’re giving them a real-life example of what it means to be self-reliant.

Most of all, we want them to understand that independence doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It means knowing when to ask for help, knowing when to trust their instincts, and having the confidence to navigate the world with the tools they’ve learned from us. They need to see that it’s okay to seek support, to rely on others when needed, but also to trust themselves in moments of uncertainty.

Let’s work together to create a home where independence is celebrated, where they feel encouraged to try new things, make mistakes, and learn from them. Let’s teach them that being independent is not about being perfect or having all the answers—it’s about having the courage to keep trying, and the confidence to believe in their own abilities.

With love and encouragement,
Your partner 

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