Letter 17


Letter 17: Creating a Space for Our Children to Be Themselves

Dear Partner,

Our children are unique individuals, each with their own set of passions, preferences, quirks, and ways of seeing the world. As parents, we have a duty to create an environment where they can thrive as their true selves, free from the pressure to conform to someone else’s idea of who they should be.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of allowing our children to explore their own interests, to fail and succeed on their terms, and to grow into the people they are meant to be—without us pushing them into roles or expectations that don’t suit them.

It’s easy to slip into the habit of projecting our dreams and ambitions onto our children. We might want them to excel in a particular area, achieve certain goals, or follow a specific path that we think is best. But in doing so, we risk losing sight of their individual needs and desires.

I want us to be mindful of this. Let’s not only ask our children about their day or what they’re learning but also what they enjoy and what they dream about. When we make room for their interests, even if they seem strange or unimportant to us, we send them the message that they matter, that their ideas and preferences are valued.

This is especially true when it comes to their emotional worlds. Children need to feel that they can express themselves freely, without fear of judgment or reprimand. Whether they’re feeling happy, sad, confused, or angry, they should know that they are safe to talk about it without being dismissed or shamed. The emotional space we create is just as important as the physical space we give them.

We also have a responsibility to support them through the challenges of becoming who they are. If they face difficulties or struggle with self-acceptance, we need to be there to offer guidance and encouragement. Our role is not to fix them but to help them see that they are enough, just as they are.

Our children’s journey to self-discovery is one that can’t be rushed. It will take time, patience, and understanding on our part. We need to trust that, with the right support and space, they will find their way and become the individuals they are meant to be.

Let’s remember that our home should be a sanctuary for them—a place where they can be themselves, where they can experiment, fail, and grow, knowing that no matter what, they are loved and accepted. We are their guides, but we are not here to impose our will on them.

By fostering a space where they can be their true selves, we are not just raising children. We are raising confident, independent, and self-assured adults who will carry this sense of self-respect and authenticity with them for the rest of their lives.

With love and acceptance,
Your partner 

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